www.crossfit.com

Check it out.

Things that have happened at work since my last update:

I discovered that you CAN, in fact, have a $640 electric bill.  In October.  In Texas.

I discovered more than I wanted to know about Texas State Child Protective Services

I discovered that online dating sites are very expensive

I discovered that, to some people, 4 large for a crappy laptop, plus 19% monthly interest, is a good deal

I discovered that cops generally have a pretty good relationship with the Army, particularly when a situation involves firearms and threats of bodily harm.

I discovered that you can make 3k a month and spend 7k a month and not be drug out in to the street and shot

I discovered that "It's a war trophy" isn't an excuse

I discovered that people really do believe that if you add "With all due respect..." before something, it makes it better.  I also discovered that if you say "Don't you f--king Ricky Bobby me!" it makes the whole exchange hilarious.

Please note I didn't do any of this stuff.  I did, however, make a Soldier cry.  And he deserved it.

I can't run without music either, Tracy.  The Army doesn't let you wear headphones while you run, so I make my soldiers sing.  Hahahahahahahahahaha.  And puke and collapse*, apparently.  But that's a good thing.

They normally sing songs about chopping something with machetes (Communists, mainly, but that's a little out of date), or bodies, bleeding bodies, or left, right, left, right, left, right, KILL.  Very entertaining, especially when their grasp of English isn't the best.

Running on Fort Hood, which is the largest post in the Army, is becoming something of a social event for me.  Every time I run, I see someone I haven't seen since school.  It's sort of annoying.  I'm trying to continue breathing, and I pass someone who wants to find out what I've been doing since I graduated.

Our dog has the peeing outside thing down cold.  He hasn't quite figured out pooping though.

*Please note:  the collapsing was a moment of high drama from a soldier who is known for such moments.  He wasn't even sweating that much.

Thoughts on Europe:

-It's really expensive.

-Their motorcycles are cooler than ours.

-I don't really know why everyone is worried about overpopulation in India, as half the sub-continent was on our flight to Chicago.  With all of their luggage in the aisles.

-Fat, balding men do not look good in tight black dresses and heels.

-Half a liter of wine makes any meal great.

-I need to buy some skinny jeans, and then flex my thighs and destroy them.  For those that have never seen me au naturale, my thighs are about the same size as my waist.  Also, European men dress like American women.

-Veal kidneys are surprisingly delicious (Ragnon au veaux, or something like that).

-We should have spent more time in Florence.  Cool city.

-European showers are a little bit difficult.

-Paperback books do not good toilet paper make.

Go ahead and chew on that last one for a while.